I’m still a widow and will always be one. Even if I remarry, it will not erase the fact that I had once been widowed.

It’s been so long now, though, that I don’t even “feel” like a widow anymore – whatever a widow is supposed to feel like.

I just feel like another single woman, trying to make her way through life.

None of the financial benefits that my daughter and I received early on due to Bret’s passing exist for us anymore.

I file “Head of Household” on my taxes – not “Qualifying Widow” as I did years back.

New friends know only me; they never knew me with Bret.

I’m older than Bret ever was, and our daughter is a grown-up now, too.

The only things that even give people a hint that I was once married are my wedding rings.

I’m a single gal with wedding rings.

Is that what being a widow is for me now?

I certainly haven’t had a husband or partner to depend on or be close with for years now, so maybe so.

Maybe my rings are all that is left of having a husband.

Maybe someday I won’t be single anymore though…

…But I’ll always be Bret’s widow.

That will never change.

 

 

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Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter. Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.

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