A few years ago, I wrote a short story about some of the things I felt at the time and some things I thought I may feel in the future as I went along in my life without my husband. ...
I’ve always used the saying not my circus, not my monkeys. But what happens when it is your circus, and your monkeys are running amok? So are the elephants, lions, tigers and bears. The ringleader is crying in the corner ...
Grief is the evidence of love. When you opened your heart to love another person, you gave grief a master key to your heart. Now grief has permission to come and go as it pleases. Grief is a very complex ...
It's so weird when someone passes suddenly. One second they are here, the next, they just aren't. In the hours following my husband's suicide, I found evidence of him everywhere that my mind had a difficult time processing. His phone ...
Does anyone else clean their bathroom at 11 pm because even though they are on day 14 of not sleeping much they are not tired? Because at night when you lay down the anxiety itch becomes real, and it makes ...
Five years ago today, I held Rick’s hand in a death grip. A literal death grip, for hour upon hour. By noon of that day, I realized he was going to die, and he did, at 8pm that night. The ...
Most widows undergo a dramatic change in their identity after the loss of their husband. Everything that was ordinary and comfortable in a life shared with the person they lived in covenant with is altered. Most of us wrapped our ...
It may be a tired old cliche, but there is some truth to it: You can never go home again. Following my late husband's death, trying to desperately connect with his memory, I considered relocating back to one of the ...
Lately, I have been feeling like I want to be part of a team again…someone’s other half. However, the idea of dating sounds horrible. To be fair, the idea of dating sounded horrible to me in my 20s. So, it ...
I can’t breathe! This weight on my chest is causing every breath I take to be a struggle. As I work to take my next breath, I am frustrated at the strain it is creating. Why is this happening?! When ...