Today I am wistful for a different time. For a time when I always knew exactly where I stood. For a time when I didn’t worry about everything. For a time when I knew beyond a doubt ...
Sometimes You’ve Gotta Fake Joy To Get To The Real Thing This was me 4 years ago, faking joy, 420 feet above the Skokomish River on the High Steel Bridge in my home state of Washington. This truss arch ...
I will never forget the night Jared died. The night I held him in my arms as he took his last breath. The night my world changed. Going to bed that night hugging Jared’s pillow. My heart shattered in a ...
Guilt is a widow’s best friend. Every window I know has felt guilty about something along their journey. Things they could control, things they couldn’t control, things that were in no way their responsibility. Yet every widow I know has ...
It’s been about two and half years since I lost my husband, Eric. He is missed. Terribly. There are no words to describe it. This day and every single day. His silence is excruciatingly loud. But that’s not what this ...
“It’s all his fault.” That is a phrase I have often uttered in my house since my late husband died. Something breaks, it’s Jared’s fault because he’s not here to fix it. If something goes wrong, it’s Jared’s fault ...
People claim that time heals all wounds. I respectfully disagree. There is value in time. There is value in the wait. There is value in the belief that everything happens at just the right time. I believe that, too. However, ...
Adrian Gutierrez. The name of the most beautiful man I’ve ever known. I say his name every chance I get, even though people sometimes still wince when I do. They stare at me with wide eyes, wondering if I’ve just ...
Someone recently made a comment to me about “still doing the widow thing.” This person said your remarried, so you’re not a widow anymore. I tried to nicely say that even though I am Jon’s wife, I will always be ...