Tomorrow would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary. I think it still is, though, even though my husband is no longer here with me and I’m no longer married…have no husband…am no one’s wife. The anniversary date doesn’t change. 23 years ...
When Jared died, I thought I would never survive. I could not imagine surviving. Couldn’t picture my life without him. Certainly never thought I would date. Love again. And absolutely would never get married again. He was the great love ...
Counseling. Yes or no? For me, it was a definite yes. When my late husband died, I immediately sought out counseling for my son and myself. I wanted us to have someone to help guide us through the difficult ...
Today I am wistful for a different time. For a time when I always knew exactly where I stood. For a time when I didn’t worry about everything. For a time when I knew beyond a doubt ...
Sometimes You’ve Gotta Fake Joy To Get To The Real Thing This was me 4 years ago, faking joy, 420 feet above the Skokomish River on the High Steel Bridge in my home state of Washington. This truss arch ...
I will never forget the night Jared died. The night I held him in my arms as he took his last breath. The night my world changed. Going to bed that night hugging Jared’s pillow. My heart shattered in a ...
Guilt is a widow’s best friend. Every window I know has felt guilty about something along their journey. Things they could control, things they couldn’t control, things that were in no way their responsibility. Yet every widow I know has ...
It’s been about two and half years since I lost my husband, Eric. He is missed. Terribly. There are no words to describe it. This day and every single day. His silence is excruciatingly loud. But that’s not what this ...
“It’s all his fault.” That is a phrase I have often uttered in my house since my late husband died. Something breaks, it’s Jared’s fault because he’s not here to fix it. If something goes wrong, it’s Jared’s fault ...