I struggle with thanatophobia which is basically a big word for death anxiety. Not my own death. I don’t want to leave my children any time soon, but oddly enough, my own death doesn’t stress me out. Nope, my death ...
Widowhood has given me an entirely new definition of bravery. I used to think bravery meant doing something adventurous and daring or scary, like jumping out of a plane or risking your life to save a child in a fire. ...
7/7/2001. Twenty years ago today Steve and I got married on a sun-drenched veranda overlooking the hills , under a rose-embellished gazebo, witnessed by 210 of our closest friends, family, and absolute strangers (aka our parents' friends we'd never met ...
I'm the me I'm supposed to be - at this moment. And, guess what? I don't want to be the person I once was. So, stop trying to fix me! I can no longer be that person. She was only ...
When I became a widow, 15.5 months, ago I instantly knew that I would never marry again, and for some reason people seem to have a hard time accepting or believing that. I recognize that part of the reason is ...
Thoughts are powerful! If I think that I can’t do something, I will usually give up pretty quickly. Heck, sometimes I will give up before I even start because my thoughts are so negative. Have any of you ever struggled ...
There is something surreal about going from one to two years, in terms of grief. Singular becomes plural so quickly, and you lose the ability to say "Oh, he died a year and a half ago," or "last year, I ...
Simple rituals can have a HUGE impact. Over the past few years a multiple of painful losses have poured down on me. I am thankful that I was able to take some refuge from the ancient traditions I continue to ...
It was recently suggested to me that perhaps I needed to forgive Gary for dying. I was incredulous. Of course I didn’t blame him for dying! “Can you tell him you forgive him?” I was asked. Of course I can!!! ...
Becoming a widow is hard no matter what stage of life you’re in, and the first year is brutal no matter what way you slice it. It’s not that the rest of widowhood will be easy (although 13 months ...