After Nate died, I was told so many times that the first year would be the worst because of all the “firsts” I would have to go through without him. In the back of my mind, I knew this would ...
Being a widow can really suck. Watching your husband die sucks Telling your child their dad died and is never coming home sucks. Having to move forward because their is no other option sucks. Death sucks. And it sucks ...
There’s something about birthdays that call for reflection. I used to love my birthday and would declare the entire month of July my birthday month. I would treat myself for the whole month and tell anyone would tolerate me that ...
A few months ago, I felt like I was at an awkward phase in my grief process. I stood at a large and gaping hole – a gap, really – between staring backward at the barren wasteland that was my ...
I have had a hard time coming up with a topic these past few days. I struggle, I know that so many people read blogs and follow other widows for guidance and help. That is all I have wanted to ...
FINDING YOU Just a few months after loss I decided to move out of state back to our Home town. I remember packing my kitchen with my friend and Pastor, Cami. She was carefully wrapping all of my serving dishes. ...
I bought a house. I bought it six months after losing Todd, the love of my life. I know, I know. Widows aren’t supposed to make any big decisions in the first year of widowhood. “Widow’s fog” and all that. ...
My son started high school today. My little baby is now a high school freshman. I’m not exactly sure how that happened. I swear just yesterday I was rocking him to sleep. And how he’s playing on his high school ...
Today I celebrate my 38th birthday and I’m reminded that it has also been 20 years (gasp!) since the very first birthday I celebrated with the kind young man who would become my husband. Turning 18 marked the beginning of ...
The day I heard that my partners body had been found, my emotions for him paused and I remained stuck in a world of guilt for many years. Guilt because I was still living, and my life was still moving ...